Odd Couple of the Week

Torstraße. Friday Night.


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Sanitizing the Artist: A Dirty-Report

Ron Athey’s Self Obliteration #1 Ecstatic and #2 Rapture — part of HAU Theater’s Politics of Ecstasy festival

SPOLIER ALERT – WHICH DOUBLES AS A "MAY SPOIL YOUR MEAL" ALERT

Two plates of glass frame a tattoo-covered, but otherwise naked, man posed on his hands and knees on a table. He is wearing a long blond wig.
He breathes. The audiences watches, wanders, and waits.
He starts to brush the wig. Long strokes at first, then he reverses and teases it up into Dolly Parton-On-Steroids.
He takes the wig off. By removing the needles in his skull.
He then puts his head upside down, using the dripped blood as paint on the canvases of glass.
His muscles shake in a regular rhythm that has little to do with the half-techno, half-arty background music.
The wig comes back on and is eventually used as a full-head cast, wrapping together the wounds and his face.
Assistants wearing black latex gloves add two more glass plates, boxing him in. A white paste is added to the blood and the wig becomes a brush, covering the new plates of glass with the pink mixture, which is then brushed into the wig. This continues and his hands forget about the wig and begin to follow the lines of the tattoos on his skin.
When he has finished bringing himself to rapture, he stands on his podium and claps. The audience reciprocates.
He dismounts and the black-latexed assistants put his feet in plastic bags before he lands on the floor and walks backstage. The applause dies out and the audience slowly begins to leave. Performance time: 30 minutes. Time until the last audience member has left the theater after the performance: 15 minutes.
Outside, under the elevated subway tracks, the songs of Disney animated films filter through the air.

Driving gender performance

From the Department of the Obvious:

Women Matter













"Gender diversity, a corporate performance driver"

A packet brought to you by McKinsey&Company.

And read by a young man in an expensive suit heading south on the U6 subway during Berlin's rush hour.

You too can read the report at McKinsey's Paris Office website.

Strand (bags) by the Spree

The Effective Viral Advertising Society presents:


STRAND tote bags are everywhere on the streets of New York, broadcasting the huge bookstore with an ubiquitous oval brand. Hipsters, grandmas and pretty much everyone else haul their groceries in the black original or one of its many-colored descendants.

But the following account details sightings in BERLIN—the capital of GERMANY, and approximately 4,000 miles from Manhattan—in the first three weeks of January 2009:

1. January 2nd, on the U2 subway going from Kurfürstendamm to Berliner Str.
2. January 7th, on the M10 tram going from Bernauer Str. to Eberswalder Str.
3. January 13th, in the Ordnungsamt Neukölln (an office for registering trades, among other things).
4. January 14th, waiting for the bus in Wildenbruchplatz.
5. January 22nd, outside of the Rathaus (city hall) in Neukölln.

Unfortunately the Strand Tote bag does not come in a German version. Sounds like a job for...!

The Department of Useless Translations:

Neu York Stadt
STRAND
18 Meilen der Bücher

New York City
BEACH
18 Miles of Books


yes, STRAND means BEACH in German.

Only God Stops Graffiti

On the wall of the Rathaus Neukölln U7 subway stop during the first week of the new year:















Two weeks later it was gone (and photos were taken with flash!—administrative apologies for poor camera):















Berlin's police graffiti-clean-up squad clearly must be God.



p.s. Now the most colorful part of the wall is:














From the Department of Useless Translations:
(in the star box exploding toward britney)
Heiße Geschenke für kalte Zeiten
"Hot presents for cold times"

Also notice the various types of pouty lips expressed.

This advertisement was summarily graffiti-fied elsewhere in Berlin, and the photo's on jezebel— http://jezebel.com/5132824/feminist-vandal-defaces-berlin

The American Stomach in Recession

Wendy's 3conomics: "because the wisest place to invest these days is in your stomach," said in the same Comedy-Central-narrator-i'm-macho-but-i-still-stay-up-late-watching-
stand-up-comedy voice used for South Park commericals.

Three sandwiches! Each for under 1 American dollar! JUST 99 cents! The Crispy Chicken Sandwich! The Double Stack! The Jr. Bacon Cheesebuger!

And should you be so strapped by the economic crisis that you cannot even afford to eat Wendy's, or should you be living in Europe, you can settle for watching Wendy's food at their ad website.

The slogan on Wendy's home page: "At Wendy's®, we're unrivaled in our passion for giving people what they want — and uncompromising in giving people what they deserve."

My fellow Americans, our stomachs are gettin' what's coming to 'em.

"He's happy to debate, but it's clear he thinks he has the answers."

Conservative Christians? in this Sunday’s New York Times Magazine:

“Who Would Jesus Smack Down?”—Molly Worthen's profile of Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill Church founder and the Calvinist "frat boy" of American Evangelicalism

Driscoll on YouTube...

Masturbation, Homosexuality, and Biblical Oral Sex
To quote: “We’ve broken it down into two categories: offensive, and really offensive. This content would fall into the really offensive category … nonetheless the content is, I think, pretty fun.”

In...
Christianity Today:
"Driscoll warms up when he recounts the history of Mars Hill.
‘My first core group was single indie and punk rockers committed to anarchy,’ he says. ‘Needless to say, they didn't naturally organize themselves or give generously. If I would have said, 'Everybody tithe,' it would have been in cigarettes.’
Driscoll can't stand in front of a crowd for long without stirring things up. That's what you get from a pastor who learned how to preach by watching comedian Chris Rock.”

And The Seattle Times:
"In Driscoll's view, homosexuality is a sin, although no more so than, say, premarital sex. Women should be loved and protected, while men are definitely heads of households. And women can be church leaders, but not pastors. 'If I could change one part of the Bible,' Driscoll says wearily, 'that would be the part, just so I could be left alone.'
In any case, he's not much interested in expounding on those positions during sermons or telling people what they shouldn't do. He's happy to debate, but it's clear he thinks he has the answers. And he's convinced you'll find them, too, if you just listen."
…
“Is Driscoll ever afraid that what he's preaching could turn out to be plain wrong? ‘It is the most terrifying part of my job,’ he says. ‘I have a team of pastors — they have the ability to edit me or fire me at will. I think any religious leader that does not have a bit of fear about what they're doing, and have people who can pull rank on them, are very dangerous.’ “


From the Department of Definitions:

Calvinism (from Webster’s): The theological tenets or doctrines of John Calvin (a French
theologian and reformer of the 16th century) and his
followers, or of the so-called calvinistic churches.
Note: The distinguishing doctrines of this system, usually
termed the five points of Calvinism, are original sin
or total depravity, election or predestination,
particular redemption, effectual calling, and the
perseverance of the saints. It has been subject to many
variations and modifications in different churches and
at various times.

Evangelical (also from Webster’s): Date—1531
1: of, relating to, or being in agreement with the Christian gospel especially as it is presented in the four Gospels
2: protestant
3: emphasizing salvation by faith in the atoning death of Jesus Christ through personal conversion, the authority of Scripture, and the importance of preaching as contrasted with ritual
4 (when capitalized) a: of or relating to the Evangelical Church in Germany b: of, adhering to, or marked by fundamentalism : fundamentalist c: low church
5: marked by militant or crusading zeal : evangelistic


From the Department of Perspective:

Other Notable Figures in American Christianity:
Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson is a Bishop in the Episcopal Church of the U.S.A. and lives openly with his male partner.

Rev. Timothy J. Keller is the head of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, and called by many “Manhattan’s leading evangelist.”

Rev. Rick Warren is the head of Saddleback Church, author of The Purpose Driven Life and will give the invocation when Barack Obama is sworn in. “The inauguration role positions the Rev. Rick Warren to succeed Billy Graham as America’s pre-eminent minister.”

Our New Favorite Change!

The cover of American Vogue (note the exclamation points):

FRESH START
A NEW PRESIDENT!

which is above and to the left of:

CHANGE!
Yes, You Can
DRESS CHEAP & CHIC, BECOME A REDHEAD,
+Match Bags and Shoes






The cover of German Vogue:

UNSERE NEUEN LIEBLINGS-LOOKS (Our New Favorite Looks)

which is above:

We love fashion (We love fashion)

Overheard on Karl-Marx—part one of an ongoing series

And this one doesn’t even have to be translated….

By the city hall in Neukölln

Across the posterior of a middle-aged woman wearing what would be an American “Starter” jacket:
“CANADA: Just relax, and enjoy the Canadian experience”

Two young men dressed as hipsters would if they were allowed to be concerned about frostbite continue their conversation.

“…that’s like persistence without talent”
“And talent is just an awareness about what you’re being persistent about.”
“Yeah, I don’t believe that talent is a God-given thing.”
“…”
“I guess being persistent without talent is like just being persistent but with no real idea of what you’re doing.”
“Being persistent without talent is like banging your head against a wall; you’re more likely to get a concussion than actually make a hole through it.”

Healthy lungs buy tickets for the subway

Hackescher Markt S-Bahn station and the new German site-specific ad campaign for nicorette anti-smoking inhalers:

Damit Ihre Lunge nicht mehr schwarzfahren muss. “So your lungs don’t have to go black any more.”

Schwarzfahren literally translates as “to go black;” however, it is most commonly used to signify riding public transit illegally, i.e. taking the S-Bahn without a valid ticket.

Therefore, a second translation: “So your lungs don’t have to ride illegally any more.”

Apparently the inhaler also functions as a public transit ticket for lungs.


P.S.
From the Department of Useless Translations: Lindert Ihr Rauchverlangen und beschäftigt die Hände. “Alleviates your smoking cravings and keeps your hands busy.”

On the S-Bahn from Yorckstr. to Potsdamer Platz

A teenage girl dressed in a modified school-girl outfit with a long black coat walks heel to toe along the edge of the platform as the train approaches. She is carrying a messenger bag and an anime-decorated shopping bag. Her hair is dyed a dark hot pink and cut and glued into thick spikes—with the exception of one long thin ponytail stretching down her spine.
She boards the train and stands in the door fidgeting with her bags. A couple in their 50s who look like they dressed for the Sound of Music continue to speak earnestly in hushed tones while sneaking furtive glances at the girl. The man’s French-lieutenant mustache perfectly matches the feather pinned to the band of his female companion’s felt hat.
The girl takes one long look at the couple sitting next to her, coughs and turns to stare out the door.
A short young man is waiting at the exit to the Potsdamer Platz station. He is wearing a long black coat, and his light blond hair is cut and glued into thick spikes.

A Po-Blo Manifesto

For 2009: A post-blog blog.

Or, as it is more commonly known, po-blo blo.

Is an attempt to make a blog without the inherent blogginess of blogging. A blog beyond blo. Because there’s already enough blo in the world.

This particular po-blo blo is one set of the images and words that compose life in Berlin and an increasingly cosmopolitan youth culture. The Blo. Without commentary. The Po.

First, a couple of definitions from Webster’s:

Blog: an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page; Example: Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author; Etymology: shortened form of Weblog.

Post-: A prefix signifying behind, back, after; as, postcommissure, postdot, postscript.

Post-Modern: date—1925; 1. of, relating to, or being an era after a modern one; 2. a. of, relating to, or being any of various movements in reaction to modernism that are typically characterized by a return to traditional materials and forms (as in architecture) or by ironic self-reference and absurdity (as in literature) b. of, relating to, or being a theory that involves a radical reappraisal of modern assumptions about culture, identity, history or lanugage.

This has been a po-blo blo po.

Not to be confused with a po-mo blo po.